I’ve been studying family therapy, and it turns out that research shows a link between maternal depression after divorce and childhood depression and behavior problems. Shortly after divorce, moms often experience stress, financial troubles, and changes in friendships (might lose some of their couple friends), and her parenting style often declines as she tries to cope with these new life changes. As a result, children and teens often have behavioral problems, anxiety, depression, and drops in academic performance.
There is however, good news. We’ve all heard it said, “If Mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy.” Well, there is some truth to this statement. As moms get help personally, their effective parenting skills tends to rise, lessening these symptoms in the children.
So, the moral of this story, moms, is that we need to take care of ourselves so that we can better take care of our children. Why is it that moms feel guilty about taking care of ourselves? We can’t help anyone else if we aren’t in a good place ourselves.
Having a support network, eating healthy, exercising, and sometimes counseling, are key to “bouncing back” after a major life event. Our attitude influences our children far more than we think. I don’t know about you, but this is a little scary. I don’t want my bad attitude to negatively affect my daughter.
So, let us all work to renew our minds and to do everything without grumbling or complaining.